my boy shines

Oh, where to begin? Today was Day 1 of Bryan's 8-day trip to the UK. These trips are ones that I tend to manage well by staying busy with friends or projects around the house, taking it day by day without counting down the days lest the time pass too slowly. But saying goodbye to my husband today was the saddest it's ever been before. And I've been one breath away from a teary breakdown all day. It probably has something to do with the way the evening panned out, and thus begins the blog entry for today.

A couple of days ago, Simon woke up with a seal-like, barking cough. Nothing nagging or persistent, just a bark here and there and I thought, "Oh great. Another one of his croupy spells might develop out of this seemingly harmless cough." Seems that whenever Simon gets a cold of any kind, it develops into a horrible chest congestion immediately and I spend a couple of restless nights with the baby monitor turned up too high or rousing myself from bed to jack up the hot water in the shower, creating a sauna for his poor little lungs to gain relief. Most often, I use the steamy shower trick or brisk outdoor air exposure at 2 a.m. or whatever gets us through. And then he's better in a couple of days and is no worse for the wear. But today struck me a little different. We went for a short walk to get out into the mild weather and hadn't gone far when I noticed Simon's breathing was extremely loud and labored. He was definitely wheezing like an asthmatic. But he never seemed uncomfortable or upset and he didn't want me to carry him. We stopped by a friends house and had a little rest and I thought his breathing would calm down if we stopped moving for a while. But it didn't seem to change much and I finally called our doctor.

Calling the doctor is annoying to me because it usually ends up being a case where the think they need to see him and then they offer to prescribe an antibiotic or whatever, but it's almost always just a virus that needs to run it's course. So I don't know exactly what I was looking for when I called at 3:30 in the afternoon. When the nurse heard the sound of my son barking from across the room, she said she wanted me to bring him in. Knowing I couldn't make it out to that part of town before closing time in the middle of traffic, I made an appointment for the next morning but she advised me that if he got any worse throughout the night, I should take him to the ER! Wanting to avoid that option at any cost, (a trip to the ER costs us $200!!) I decided to take him into the clinic at Walgreens. They listened to his lungs and said that he was too congested for them to treat so they sent us down to the closest urgent care clinic. Simon saw the doc there and was diagnosed some antibiotics for bronchitis and a steroid for inflammation in his lungs. The doc also suggested that the reccurence of this "croup" could be caused by an environmental factor in our home like mold or furnace filters not being regularly changed. (As a side note, the very thought of this possibility sent every OCD tendency in me ablaze and had me talking myself down from the ledge...but enough about me.)

Of course, the trauma didn't end there as we still had to make a trip to ANOTHER Walgreens to pick up the prescriptions that the doctor said he faxed over ahead of us which, not surprisingly, they had no record of and didn't even have Simon in their computer. So, we burned another half hour while they filled the scripts and then headed back to the store to buy a warm mist humidifier and such. By the time we got home, it was bedtime...all my plans to have a fun, relaxed evening with my kids, watching a movie and eating popcorn happily together were awash in medical, viral, stressful drama. After a hot shower sauna in our bathroom, the kids are all tucked cozily in their beds, sleeping soundly and I can't help but ask God, "Why does all this happen the moment my husband boards a plane flying across an ocean? What is it I need to learn here?" Well, my first answer is a pragmatic one...there is indeed mold growing in a dark corner of our basement. And I did learn how to change the filter in our furnace. The more spiritual answer, I'm sure, will come at a later date when I'm not so easily moved to a crying jag.

BUT...the real reason I meant to enter this post is to brag on my son. The whole time, from the Walgreens walk in clinic to the Urgent Care, to the drive thru dinner to the multiple stops at Walgreens, to the shower sauna...he was a perfect gem. He seemed thrilled to be on his own. It was time spent, just the two of us...I don't know if that has EVER happened before. He seemed so grown up and proud of himself. He followed every direction the doctor or nurse gave and seemed eager to please. And everyone was charmed by his sweet nature. This kid has stolen my heart. One thing I have taken away from this day is that my boy deserves some time just for him, so that he can shine. And shine he does.

random sweetness

There have been several sweet moments with Ella lately so I'll recall a few to the best of my ability.

A few days ago, the kids and I spent some time gazing out the picture window in our front room. Just outside the window is a small tree and we watched the birds land in the limbs and fly to and fro. Some of the birds were walking in the street. Ella said, "Oh Mommy! Those birds are looking for something to eat and they can't find anything!" She was so worried about them going hungry! That gave me an idea for a craft so a few days later, we made pine cone bird feeders and hung them in the front tree. So far, there haven't been any birds visiting again, but I think they're trying to keep warm somewhere.


Our pine cone bird feeders


Ella by our bird tree

This morning at breakfast, Elijah came downstairs and was having a bowl of cereal. We were asking him questions about how he's been since he's been so busy lately we've not seen much of him. I asked him a few things like if he thought he might like a bookshelf in his room. Not to be left out, Ella chimed in: "Did you sleep ok last night Elijah?" We all cracked up at her sweet politeness and genuine care for him, after which she buried her little head in her hands in embarrassment. Sweet thing.

Ella very often asks questions with spiritual significance these days. A week or so ago, she and her daddy had this conversation:

Ella: "Dad, does Jesus rip people open?"
Dad: "WHAT?! No! Of course not! Why?"
Ella: "Then how does he live inside?"

Sometimes I just wish I could bottle this stuff up as the memories fade and time marches on. My love just grows and grows but I'm sometimes hit by the sobering thought of being entrusted with such precious gifts. God help me to treat these children with gentleness and care!

UPDATE: We spotted some birds nibbling on our pine cone bird feeders this morning! Unfortunately, later on in the afternoon, we noticed a rather greedy squirrel devouring what was left of them. I believe he had carried off three out of the five and the last two, he was gorging himself pretty effectively upon. Ella suggested we go outside and punch him in the face, but I talked her out of it.

raison invaders

Simon loves raisons and always has. I have not been giving him raisons much lately because it really affects his digestive system (if you get my drift) and the last time I gave him raisons for a snack, I discovered he had shoved one straight up his nose!! Because I was in the middle of preparing dinner, I never would have figured this out because I wasn't paying close enough attention to where his food was actually ending up. Plus, Ella never, ever did such things (welcome to the wild world of raising boys...a whole new game!!) The only reason I put two and two together is because his eyes were watering profusely and he kept shoving his finger way up his left nostril coupled with sneezing fits and uncomfortable whining. It didn't take long for me to get him to blow the offending raison out into a tissue because it was truly bothering him and he was motivated to get rid of the tiny invader. Well, that was several weeks ago and I had completely forgotten about the incident when I gave him raisons for a snack again while I made dinner last night. A few moments later, I heard sneezing coming from the living room and the whole scene came flooding back to my mind. I immediately dropped what I was doing and found Simon on the couch with his finger up his nose. However, I was unsure if there was another raison up there or if he was just making himself sneeze because he didn't seem to be nearly as bothered and uncomfortable as the first time around. As the evening wore on, I noticed he was still poking his finger way up his nostril but I still couldn't find a raison or convince him to blow his nose. It was a real mystery...until this morning. I descended the stairs and noticed a tiny marroon object on the carpet. It was a saturated, plump little raison that looked as though it had spent the night in my son's nose. And so, the adventure continues...

my sweet scholar

It is now January and we've had to begin thinking of schooling options for Ella coming up in the fall. Living in the city, it's quite a predicament for most given that the public schools are atrocious and private schools are a major financial commitment. The saving grace for the public schools is the magnet programs that have an academic focus or gifted curriculum. There is a school called Kennard Classical Jr. Academy [www.kennardcja.org] just a mile from us that is the most highly praised magnet in the city and has fantastic test scores. The only trouble is, there is only one pre-k class at Kennard with 20 slots and the amount of applicants is crazy. Plus, the testing just to get into the drawing for these 20 slots is intense. I have always felt that Ella was bright but when I found out that she would have to test into the top 95th percentile just to make it into the drawing, I was slightly intimidated. Her testing was a couple of weeks ago and we went into it with very little information on what it involved. I had no idea that it would be two hours alone with a tester and that we would not be allowed in the room! It was very strange to hand her over to someone like that without any time to warm up or get the low down on what was about to take place! But Ella was such a tropper! She was relaxed and comfortable with this woman and simply waved goodbye to us and commenced in playing "games" with the lady. An hour and a half later, they emerged for a short break and Ella walked by us gleefully holding the woman's hand. She had a wonderful time having one on one time with an adult playing all these smarty games without a little brother to interrupt! After finishing the testing, we were so amazed to discover she tested in the 96th percentile and had an IQ of 126. Wow. I was so proud of my girl! So as it stands, she will be entered into the lottery and we will find out in a few weeks if her name is drawn. Whether she makes it or not, I feel confident that God knows the best place for her and that she will do well because she loves to learn! I feel God has blessed the whole process as I missed the original deadline to enter her application in November and was told she would go on a waiting list. But somehow, that was bypassed and they tested her anyway. I can only believe that that was God's hand at work and that He is in control of this situation. I am excited to see what the end result will be!

these are a few of my favorite things

I made some pumpkin custard tonight. We served the kids some warm from the oven with a dollop of vanilla ice cream on top. Ooo it was yummy with the hot and cold mixed together. Both kids gobbled up the ice cream in no time flat but neither one gave the pumpkin much interest. As I was putting Ella to bed tonight, she had this to say:

Mommy, I don't want to eat pumpkin pie anymore. I like chocolate. And jewelry and chocolate and rings.

Chocolate and jewelry. Yeah. She's a girl alright.

cast call & a fly on the wall

The other day, Ella was leading me in one of her make believe games. I forget which characters we were meant to be but it required four parts and we were only playing with three (me, Ella and Simon.) Her only solution to this dilemma was this:

"Mom, I think you need to grow another baby."

I love how little minds work!

In other news, I overheard Ella playing with an educational toy in her room today. It's a toy that asks a question and then you push a button when you're ready to answer and the toy records you and plays back your answer. So the question came, "What would you say if you were a mommy?" I was expecting Ella to answer something like "I looove you!" or maybe "be careful". I was a little bummed out to hear her answer:

"OBEY."

I must sound like such a broken record to this girl. Bah.

best friends

Ella: Mommy, you're my best, best friend. I said that two times because I love you soooooooo much!

Isn't she the best?