cherished goodbye

A few weeks ago, the kids and I traveled up to northeast Missouri to visit my mom for a few days. While we were there, we stopped in to visit my Grandma Florence in the nursing home since we haven't seen her in nearly a year. Her health had been deteriorating and I was a bit stunned to see how much she had changed since the last time I had seen her. I was a little nervous to take the kids to see her as I wasn't sure if they would be frightened because she was so thin and not speaking. But they amazed me. Grandma was in a wheelchair and tried to speak, but was hard to hear or understand, but she kept reaching her hand out to touch Ella, almost like she was a dream. Instead of keeping her distance or being intimidated, Ella stayed near to her, held her hand, and showed her love and care. I couldn't help but cry. I was so proud of both the kids. Grandma has been so important to me and they have not had the chance to see her well. But they were unafraid. This time with her was irreplaceable. She passed away two weeks later on November 27, 2009.

I didn't take the kids with me to the funeral as I was concerned that they weren't old enough to process the idea that they could see someone they love one day and two weeks later they are gone. The funeral was a really lovely service and family gathered and celebrated her life. There was much love and honor given to her memory. When I got back home, I waited for the right time to tell Ella that Grandma Florence had gone to heaven to be with Jesus. I told her and she said, "Right now?! Already??" She seemed alarmed but I explained that Grandma had been sick for a long time and now that she was with Jesus, she was all healed and didn't have to be in a wheelchair and that she could talk all she wanted and even dance if she wanted to. Ella seemed relieved and said, "Ok." After a while, she added, "Mom, I can't wait till I'm really sick and Jesus can heal me." I wasn't quite sure how to respond, so I just let it be. She took the news rather well and I'm proud of her. I will never forget that last visit to the nursing home. As we walked out of the doors she held my hand and said, "Mommy, I love Grandma Florence and she loves me." It's true. I miss her already.