on maturity

Overnight I am stunned by how the kids are growing, maturing and becoming more independent. I can't even count how many times I think to myself, especially about Ella, "Are you really only 7 and a 1/2? Really??" It's not only the way she talks, but it's her natural interest in contributing and being a part of things.

As I mentioned in my previous post, bedtime with Josie can be a long process and last night, I had some phone calls to tend to and wasn't able to be as involved as usual. So Ella stepped in willingly to save the day. She said to her daddy as he tried to console Josie, "I can lie down with her. I WANT to!" So he gave it a whirl and we didn't hear a peep from her the rest of the night! Yesssss!

And this morning when we woke up, Ella got up with Josie and changed her diaper before I even got out of bed. Whaaat? I wasn't that self sacrificing and responsible in my early twenties. For reals.

On Sunday, Ella wrote on her communication card that she wanted to serve in the toddler room. She ended her request with an all caps "PLEASE?" I think it's a really grand idea and she'd be so helpful as an extra playmate for the littles.

All this growing up spurred me to ask the question of the kids today, "What do you want to be when you grow up." Ella said, "There are a bunch of things I want to be. Can I be more than one thing?" To which I replied, "Of course!" Then she listed off all of the possibilities, "A salon girl, an artist" and that got her onto a tangent daydreaming about where that could take her. She said, "I want my art to hang in Hollywood or something!" I think she's under the impression that anything famous must come out of Hollywood. I asked, "You mean, you want it to hang in a gallery somewhere so people can buy it from you?" "Yes! I would sell each painting for five dollars!" Well, I thought I needed to let her know she could aim higher. "You know, Ella, lots of artists sell their paintings for much more than that, maybe hundreds or thousands of dollars because they put a lot of time into each one." That got her dreaming..."Ok. Well, maybe I'll sell one of mine for 6 billion dollars and then every person in the world could put one dollar in." But that idea presented a quandary. She paused and reasoned, "No. That wouldn't really work because who would actually get to take the painting home?"

At bedtime, I asked Simon what he wanted to be when he grew up. He didn't hesitate and answered, "A pastor." "Really?" I asked. "Why do you want to be a pastor?" to which he replied, "It sounds fun." "What would be the most fun about being a pastor, Simon?" His answer was simple. "Telling people about Jesus." Yes. So I prayed for him that God would give him the passion to tell others about how much Jesus loves them. And he snuggled down to sleep. That's my boy.

Seriously. These kids blow my mind. They bug each other and fight and do all the things kids do, but then they show their hearts and I marvel. God, make their lives great for you!

checking in

I've become embarrassingly bad about keeping this blog updated. Truth is, I've been doing my best (well, not my best, but "better") to not spend any "free" time on my computer while the kids are awake. I find it sucks me in and I end up an hour (or more) shorter of time to connect with them. Also, I've been doing a bit more freelance than normal so my time on the computer has been spoken for. 

Right now, we're on spring break. We are using the time to get away from the house and all it's demands and are staying in a hotel in Kansas City. We've been relaxing a lot, watching cartoons and March Madness basketball, swimming a TON, snuggling, tickling, doing color wonder, eating snack food instead of meals, and taking lots of baths (due to the overload of chlorine.) We visited a park yesterday and relished in the spring sunshine, played with Ella's new jump rope and Simon's new tee ball set and ball glove. Ella has gotten to be pretty proficient at jumping rope and swimming! Simon is still rather cautious about swimming, but he at least will swim with a floatation device which beats last year when he wouldn't even get in the water until he'd watched everyone else for two hours. I'm not even kidding.

Some brief updates of late:

1. I've been mulling over and praying about doing home school next year. It's something I never thought I'd consider, but after observing my kids more closely over this last year and learning more about their strengths and weaknesses, I think it could be a real help to them. It is something we're in prayer about and a decision I don't take lightly.
2. Simon is becoming increasingly proficient at writing his letters, drawing and coloring. I've heard him sight read and sound out a few words here and there too. At a recent Parent/Teacher conference, his teacher described him as "cautious" in general, but excelling. He is quiet in his temperament and she said sometimes he seems like it's not worth the effort to get in the middle of boyish squabbles over trains and things. But he has made friends and enjoys school a lot.
3. Ella got the birds and the bees talk on the playground. Wow. Wasn't exactly prepared for that yet! Fortunately, she is quick to share with me anything that doesn't sit right with her, so it was an opportunity for some clear and helpful direction and clarification from me.
4. Josie seems to love music a great deal and requests "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" all day long. The other morning, after she woke up early and was still cuddled in bed with me, she spent a good ten minute humming and making her own music. It was so sweet! She has said a few words which Ella is keeping track of in her journal. Just this morning, we were cuddled in the hotel bed and Simon's head was resting on my lap. She patted him on the hair and said, "Nye Nye." (Night night). She's growing quickly and is so charming!

That's all I have for now. Josie is up and our friends from Joplin (the Clevenger family) have just arrived to finish out our vacation together! There is more fun to be had!! 

daddy daughter date

For Christmas, Bryan and I gifted each other books we thought the other would benefit from. I gave him a book on raising daughters which I thought would be helpful for both of us to read. It has had an impact for sure and reiterated to him the importance of quality time with his growing girls. Bryan used to regularly take Ella out on "dates" but the practice has gotten lost in the last couple of years for various reasons. As a sort of new years resolution, the hope is to get a daughter date in once a month.

When Bryan asked Ella if she'd like to go on a date earlier this week, the look on her face was priceless. She beamed! She was so excited, it was all she could talk about. When she woke up the morning of her date, she said, "I can't wait till tonight!" and she told all her friends at school that her dad was taking her on a date. When Bryan picked her up from school, she told many of the moms retrieving their kids the she was headed for her daddy date.

I helped her pick out a pretty dress and shoes and curled her hair and even let her wear some shimmery eye shadow and lip stick. She felt beautiful. As Bryan got ready, Ella requested that he get dressed up and "not wear jeans." She's an old fashioned girl, I suppose. So he got spiffy for her.

They left for the Chocolate Bar and Simon, Josie and I had pizza and played the Wii (which is a preferable date for Simon!) Ella ordered pizza at the restaurant and shared a beautiful chocolate dessert with her daddy. She ate quite a lot and he helped her with her manners, like eating slowly and putting her napkin in her lap. After she was quite full and let out a louder-than-she-expected burp, a look of embarrassment crossed her face and she leaned in to Bryan. "Pretend that was you, Dad, if anybody asks!!!"

On the way home, pondering the loveliness of her date night, she told Bryan, "Dad, I think it might be kind of weird if I married you."

Seeing her come alive with special Daddy time amazes me. What a high calling it is to be a parent and to have so much power to build up or tear down. I hope these times with Daddy will increase her confidence and desire to stay true to the lady she was created to be and that, through being pursued and honored, she will learn what it is to be treated rightly by the opposite sex. I love seeing her with her Daddy. She just adores him. In fact, last night at bedtime, we were all cuddled up reading books in her room and she was next to him. She told him with a smile, "Our date night never ends, Dad." He'll always be her number one fan.

toofer

The last couple of weeks have had some tooth excitement! First, Josie has had some seriously rough nights of sleep which means I've had very little to speak of. Turns out, she was sprouting a tooth! I have yet to catch a glimpse of it with the camera since she is weird about opening her mouth for me unless I'm filling it with a big spoonful of food. But I certainly feel the rough little sprout when she chews on my finger!

And then tonight, Ella lost her first tooth! We had gone over to Memaw's to visit since Daddy and Papa are away. After carving pumpkins, we sat down to dinner. Ella accidentally bit down on her fork and it was enough force to seriously nudge her already loose tooth out of joint. I was so relieved to be at Memaw's because she is very well accustomed to the removal of teeth. Having had six children all go through the process, she knew the correct procedure and stepped right in to assist. Ella sat very bravely as Memaw gripped the tooth with a paper towel and gave it a firm pull. Out it came and Ella was thrilled! All night she kept saying dreamily, "I can't believe I lost my first tooth!" We went out for ice cream to celebrate and skyped with Daddy so he could get a good look for himself. Now, we need to decide if we are going to promote the tooth fairy around here...

birthday party #2

Ella really lucked out this year. Our trip to Atlanta was a bit of a last minute decision and we hadn't anticipated celebrating Ella's birthday out of town. I had already promised her a "storybook" birthday party that we've been talking about for several months since she's been enamored with writing her own stories. So, not wanting to go back on my word, last weekend, we had a girly little "storybook birthday."

The invitation that I never found time to mail out. In the end, I turned it into a less-than-stellar evite.

She invited a few of her buddies and they all came dressed to the nines. The don't seem to need an excuse to get gussied up.

We had a spread of delicious and less than nutritious finger foods:

On a side note, in my busyness, I avoided making the cake batter from scratch and ran to the store to pick up some chocolate cake mix. After reading the labels, I couldn't find a single one without partially hydrogenated yuckieness, and, even though I was serving junky food, I just couldn't bear making a cake with that stuff in it. So I grabbed the healthiest option I could find and it happened to be Bob's Red Mill Gluten-free cake mix. YIKES! I threw the batter together at home and the kids wanted to lick the mixers. I obliged and Simon put his down after the first lick. He questioned, "Why does this chocolate taste weird?" Indeed. I was nervous about serving the gluten free goodies, but in the final hour, I didn't have much choice! Fortunately, I made some chocolate cream cheese frosting and that seemed to cover up any mysterious flavor that might have slipped by a discerning palette!

Our storybook party included a craft time where each girl/mommy team got to create their own book with matching bookmark.

Our supplies. Note to self: itty bitty beads are not a great idea with three drooly babies present.

The girls enjoyed choosing pretty papers, stickers and fancy lettering.

Here are a couple of finished books:

Ella had loved the time with her friends, especially after that rough first week of school. I heard lots of little girls crying when their mommies said it was time to leave, so I guess they had a good time too! (Crying is good, right?) Ella has already decided she wants to have a "rock star birthday" next year, whatever that means. I don't know if I can keep up with this pace though! She might just get another gluten free cupcake.

kindergarten

It's official...Ella is a big kindergartner! Yay/boo hoo. All summer, the idea of her being away all day (9-4pm) has lurked in the back of my mind and I've reminded myself to make the most of our moments together. (Not always great at that...I must confess.) I never considered myself the type of mom who would cry when their child went off to school. Frankly, I just felt excited for her because that's the angle she's been taking. I mean, check her out!

She's got the uniform, all her pencils neatly sharpened and in a case, a brand new backpack full of all kinds of gear. And she's feeling full of anticipation about lots of playing and learning and general merriment. And new shoes!

And then, reality.

Do you see that look? That's the look of, "Where do I go? What happens next? Who will be my friend? Where's the safe spot to hang out?" Seriously. She's all composed in this picture, and in this picture:

but after I left the classroom, she melted in a flurry of tears. Her teacher told me she had to "fan her face." I totally didn't expect that one people. I thought she might be nervous and a little apprehensive, but not weeping.

So, she got through the first day with a couple of teary moments. That was good. Then at bedtime, she tells me she doesn't want to go back to school and she cries. Really cries. And my heart breaks. Because I can totally remember the feeling of anxiety she's feeling at undertaking such a big change with lots of unknowns and newness. And I want to rescue her, but there's nothing I can really do to keep her from growing up.

Day two was much worse. I promised to walk her to class again, but that I wouldn't stay because there weren't any other parents taking their children. When she was seated at her desk and the tears began to flow, her teacher, Mrs. Morton, whispered to me to "Just go." I whispered to Ella some words of love and encouragement and then headed for the door. It felt so strange to leave her crying. I haven't ever done that before. It felt so horrible to climb the steps outside her classroom and hear her call out, "MOOOMMMM!!" as she saw me leaving. I felt rather hollow and haunted by that. But I kept it together.

Day three, was the day I finally shed some tears. We had lots of conversations since school had started where I assured her that it would get easier and even fun the more she got used to it. I promised a special surprise if she could make it the whole day without crying. That seemed to intrigue her. But then when I took her to the playground where all the classes line up in the morning to proceed to class, it overwhelmed her again. (This change is significant since her class last year was only seven kids and this year it's twenty. Plus, the recess time is multiple classes together, all the way up to fifth grade.) I could see her lip start to quiver and her eyes well up. She was trying SO HARD to keep it under wraps, but it just refused to be squelched. I hugged her and she said, "Can I still get my surprise?"

That morning, I came home and cried. She is such a sensitive girl and I want to do right by her. I just hated to see her hurting and overwhelmed. Turns out, she has actually been missing me more than struggling to adapt to the social change. She told me that she wished her teacher was, "more like mom." To quote more accurately, she said, "I wish she was like Mom and we could hang out in the kitchen. If she was like Mom, I wouldn't miss you so much. But she doesn't have a kitchen at school!" And then she broke down. I'm so moved by how she communicates her feelings.

Anyway, to wrap this whole experience up, today was Monday, day one of week two. We got up early and played before school. After finishing up breakfast, we were getting her backpack together to leave. She looked at me as if something had dawned on her. Then she said, "You know what, Mom? I don't think I'm going to cry today!" And she didn't. Something just clicked.

It's all downhill from here. Phew.

end of summer

These last three weeks before school have been insanely busy. After getting home from our visit to Mimi's, we only had a few days to unpack, do laundry, then repack for a trip to Atlanta. I found myself savoring every moment with the kids while Ella was still underfoot all day, knowing that her start to kindergarten would mean a whole new chapter in our lives where I don't have a little buddy for every task I undertake. *sniff*

One afternoon, in the midst of laundry, the kids requested a tea party for their lunchtime. Why not? You only live once, right? So I brought them a fancy tray of tidbits that they shared in Ella's room.

Our trip to Atlanta coincided with Ella's sixth birthday. Seems we celebrated it every night of the week, starting with a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. We hadn't taken our kids there before (except Ella when she was under a year so she doesn't remember.) They went absolutely gaga for the place and we had lots of fun. The pizza was nasty, but they didn't care because they had soda and cotton candy. The best part was when the guy dressed up as Chuck came over to the table in his big mouse suit. My little sister Keely is creeped out by the guy in the suit and has been known to hide under the table when he is present. Simon assured her that Chuck E. was nice and "happy."

Carousel ride at Chuck E. Cheese

On Ella's actual birthday, my step mom, Cimi, went to an awful lot of trouble to decorate and make the morning special. My dad and brother, Ty, went out the night before (actually 2 a.m. the day OF) to get lots of cool balloons. Anyway, she felt quite special when she came downstairs and saw all the fuss made over her.

After breakfast and opening of presents, we got ready and headed out to the Atlanta Aquarium. What an experience that was! It was incredible. The kids loved petting the stingrays, playing on the indoor pirate ship and slides and seeing all kinds of crazy water life like sharks up close and personal.

Keely and Ella

My favorite part was the tunnel surrounded by all kinds of amazing creatures!

Josie's favorite part of the whole experience was this:

 

These banks of screens surrounded the whole main atrium. The colors shifted and changed and she was mesmerized. She also rather enjoyed this:

A vibrating, spinny ball of light thanks to Grampy

When we got back home, we had steak and all kinds of trimmings and topped it all off with birthday cake. I can't believe my little Ella is SIX!

Then, it was time to pack up and head back home...a very sad ending to a wonderful visit. Keely was so sweet with the kids and entertained them non stop the whole time we were there. I was impressed with her patience and generosity. She had activities for them to do and had put all kinds of planning into making things fun for them, including creating a "box of mystery" where each day they got to choose a prize out of a decorated box while wearing a blindfold. Keep in mind she's nine years old. How amazing is she? Needless to say, there were tears on the first leg of the journey back...goodbye is never easy.

Keely and Josie

Can you believe she's only 9? She's amazing.

reading

In light of my last post about the library, I felt it necessary to brag on our eldest for a minute. She started reading not too long ago and because she enjoys reading so much, it seems she's blossoming more and more every day. Each time we visit the library, she ventures out to more challenging early readers. We started with the #1s and now she's up to #3s (1-3rd grade). I'm thinking she must be reading at a second or third grade level...she's finishing books quickly and doesn't shy away from paragraphs. I'm so proud of her! I do miss that time of reading to her now that she wants to read to me all the time, but it's worth it. Simon doesn't have the same patience for it as I do...

Reading in Ella's bed

sometimes i don't have what it takes

In the post before, I mentioned how Bryan had been on a trip to Brighton. When he travels, I do what I can to enjoy myself and do things I wouldn't normally do when he's home (like eat popcorn and apples for dinner and watch Gone with the Wind after the kids are in bed). But in a general sense, the time he's away is really challenging. In the last few weeks, I've noticed the kids behavior has been "off". It just seems like we've struggled with things that aren't normally difficult. For Simon, there's been more whining, more fit throwing, and other strange things that aren't normal for him, like biting his sister on the cheek! For Ella, it's been more attitude trouble. She's been pushing the boundaries and doing things she knows aren't allowed. She's been pouting when she doesn't get something she wants right when she asks for it. There has been badgering where I'll tell her "no" and she'll make the same request five minutes later. It has been rather exhausting around here and I have felt really ill equipped on a new level. Several nights, I've laid in bed thinking and praying about how to connect with the kids (mainly Ella) and how to guide them without barking at them or crushing their spirits. I've beat myself up about the moments that I've failed and been reactionary or frustrated and wasted the day being stressed out. I lament at my lack of wisdom in guiding them sometimes.

This week, Bryan is home and it really has helped, if even to give me a few minutes to breathe and get refreshed to approach my kids with a smile. It's brought back the balance around here and it's helped to talk some of this stuff out with him and readjust our philosophy on a few things in order to help the kids through this bump in the road.

Today, Ella made me a card and it was so timely and kind, it was just what I needed to receive from her. I actually had to compose myself to keep from crying it was so darned sweet.

to Mom | *love* ellA

to MOM I LOVe You to MUCH MOM  We HAVe SO MUCH FUN AND I LOVE YOu JUSt HOW YOu ARe

Sometimes being a Mom is so humbling. It's a good thing.

collage

Today was our first real, non-vacation day since Ella has been out of school. So we were back to our normal long afternoons together while Simon napped. She helped me clean bathrooms and hung out with me while I fed the baby. But then we had a good chunk of time doing some art projects at the kitchen table while Josie slept. We decided to make a collage and I helped Ella pick out pieces to cut and helped her with some of the more detailed trimming. She ultimately created this though:

Pretty crazy, right? The shiny globs are mounds of glitter glue that she decorated with after we assembled our collage. She enjoyed this new project so much. As we worked together she said, "Mom. This is SO FUN. I could do this ALL DAY!"

writing and illustrating

Ella has been a little reader since, well, almost birth. (I may exaggerate slightly...) I remember her sitting with books as soon as she could sit up. For instance:


Since she can actually read now, she has taken a liking to penning her own stories. It all started when I found this amazing "create your own storybook" kit at target on clearance. (An amazing deal, I might add...normally $20, marked down to $3.50!)

She wrote and illustrated her own fairy tale in no time. Some days, she couldn't wait to get home from school to work on it.

But I prefer some of the handmade books she's been making lately.



This story reads:

One day, Ella's Mom got a cat for Ella. A dog can go "RRRRRR at a cat." I loved the cat. Thank you Mom for the cat. The Mom said, "I love the cat." Until the cat had babies.

I LOVE this story!

annual checkups

Yesterday was the older kids' well check at Dr. Hoekzema's office. I was a bit nervous for them since last year's round of shots didn't go so well (Ella had what was near a full-on anxiety attack.) We spent some time preparing ourselves and talking through expectations of the visit. In general, the kids are very good with doctors and dentists and follow directions well. They seem to enjoy the attention. They were measured, weighed, poked and pushed on. They are fond of the eye and ear instruments and liked getting their blood pressure taken. The best part was the eye exam. In the hallway outside the exam room hung a poster with the letters of varying sizes to measure how far patients are able to see. Ella did well since she's very good with her letters. I was a bit concerned though as she had trouble with some of the letters on the fifth row, which I was still able to read at the 20' distance. Her eyesight measured 20/40 but the doctor said he was unconcerned since she is still of preschool age and he gives some slack for performance anxiety.

When it was Simon's turn, he bounced out in the hall, proud to be treated like a big kid just like sister. He stood behind the line and rattled off the letters. As they got smaller, he got less confident and kept answering "I dunno" whenever the nurse pointed to a smaller letter. So she decided to switch to the poster with shapes rather than letters, thinking it might be easier for him. The shapes were kind of weird though...there were recognizable things like hearts, circles and stars, but there were also plus signs and a strange flag with stripes and one star. The bigger shapes were easy and he would say, "Star, circle, moon, another star, sailboat" etc. But as they got smaller and harder to see, he started to answer, "Dot, another dot..." That got us cracking up.

After the exams were over, it was time for shots. Ella got two and Simon got one. They did amazingly well! Simon didn't make a bit of a fuss...at the end of the shot he said, "Ow ow ow." And that was it. Ella got nervous as the nurse approached her and started to pull away and cry out, "No no no!!" But I hugged her and helped her to look away and she made it through without shedding a single tear. And then we all went out for kiddie cones at Ted Drewes.

The kids are healthy and growing. In fact, we're off to buy Simon some new pants and shoes today. His pants are literally three inches above his ankles. How do I keep these kids from growing up so fast??

mini me

Ella is such a mommy. She is genuinely interested in helping with her little sister and is constantly holding her and wanting to pack her around. She plays games with Josie, gathers up toys just for her, tickles her tummy and makes her coo, and entertains her while I cook dinner. Josie is one lucky little sister.