After reading books and singing songs with Simon at bedtime, we laid there side by side in his bed. He has a night light in his room that casts quite a glow and he pointed to the wall in front of us and said, "There's a monster on my wall!" In fact, it was just the outline of his dresser with some animal figurines on top, so I tried to dispel any fear by explaining to him what a shadow is. I began showing him my own shadow on the wall next to us by waving and making hopping little bunnies. He was so intrigued! He began waving too and then there was no more fear of monsters on the wall.
This morning when we got up for church, he came in my room as I was getting ready and asked me if I wanted to come see his shadow. Then I heard him in his room calling out repeatedly, "Shaaaaa-dooooww....where are you??" I told him to turn out his light and close the door and then he'd see it. A moment later, he came rushing back in to tell me, "Mommy! I found her!" The only curious thing is that his shadow is a girl!
A few weeks ago, the kids and I traveled up to northeast Missouri to visit my mom for a few days. While we were there, we stopped in to visit my Grandma Florence in the nursing home since we haven't seen her in nearly a year. Her health had been deteriorating and I was a bit stunned to see how much she had changed since the last time I had seen her. I was a little nervous to take the kids to see her as I wasn't sure if they would be frightened because she was so thin and not speaking. But they amazed me. Grandma was in a wheelchair and tried to speak, but was hard to hear or understand, but she kept reaching her hand out to touch Ella, almost like she was a dream. Instead of keeping her distance or being intimidated, Ella stayed near to her, held her hand, and showed her love and care. I couldn't help but cry. I was so proud of both the kids. Grandma has been so important to me and they have not had the chance to see her well. But they were unafraid. This time with her was irreplaceable. She passed away two weeks later on November 27, 2009.
I didn't take the kids with me to the funeral as I was concerned that they weren't old enough to process the idea that they could see someone they love one day and two weeks later they are gone. The funeral was a really lovely service and family gathered and celebrated her life. There was much love and honor given to her memory. When I got back home, I waited for the right time to tell Ella that Grandma Florence had gone to heaven to be with Jesus. I told her and she said, "Right now?! Already??" She seemed alarmed but I explained that Grandma had been sick for a long time and now that she was with Jesus, she was all healed and didn't have to be in a wheelchair and that she could talk all she wanted and even dance if she wanted to. Ella seemed relieved and said, "Ok." After a while, she added, "Mom, I can't wait till I'm really sick and Jesus can heal me." I wasn't quite sure how to respond, so I just let it be. She took the news rather well and I'm proud of her. I will never forget that last visit to the nursing home. As we walked out of the doors she held my hand and said, "Mommy, I love Grandma Florence and she loves me." It's true. I miss her already.
Simon's favorite word right now is "beautiful." Only I like the way he says it: "bootiful."
I took him to an antique mall a few weeks ago and he was in awe of all the sights and wonders. He ran up and down the aisles (as I clutched my chest in fear of what might get broken) declaring, "Bootiful, Mamma!" I wore some sparkly, dangly earrings last night, and as I snuggled into bed with him at bedtime, he touched them and said, "Mamma, I like yo ears. It's bootiful." And today was my birthday. I painted my nails and wore some silver bracelets and a new pair of earrings from a girlfriend. After wishing me a happy birthday, he proceeded to compliment me on various aspects of my appearance, "Mom, I like yo hair. Is bootiful. I like yo ears. Yo fingers are bootiful." I could get used to this treatment!
Simon is growing and changing so rapidly lately. He has stolen my heart away with his gentle yet rough and tumble, boyish ways and he has me in chuckles throughout the day with the silly things he says. Just the sound of his voice makes me smile.
Lately, he is really into dress up. I'm not sure if it's really fair to make a record that he really likes to dress up in his sister's princess costumes, but I really do think it's nothing to be too embarrassed about. After all, he does have an older sister who is the coolest person he knows and she and her little friends make the biggest fuss about playing dress up. Why wouldn't he be intrigued? In the last couple of weeks, the big fascination has been with Ella's tap shoes. For several consecutive days, he would ask for them upon first waking. Reluctantly, I would allow him to tap around the house in his sister's shoes nearly all day. Fortunately, he has discovered that his cowboy boots also make a rather satisfying "click-clack" on our tile and hard wood floors and so they have now officially replaced the tap shoes (much to his father's relief.) Funny though, he doesn't call them "cowboy boots," rather, they are "tap boots."
On an entirely separate note, referring back to how this boy has stolen my heart, my most favorite thing Simon does right now is tell me he loves me. When his daddy is leaving for work in the early morning hours, I am often still asleep and so Daddy puts Simon into bed with me so that he can dash out the door. Simon used to fuss about this because he has always been an "up-and-at-'em" kind of kid...raring to go at the break of dawn. But lately, he savors the few moments of it just being him and me. I don't know if it's that the weather has turned colder or the mornings are darker, but he is happy to snuggle up with me and enjoy the warmth of the comforters. He sighs, he snuggles in, he wraps his arms around my neck and with our foreheads touching, he says, "I looooove you Mamma." Oh that boy. He is such a gem, a treat, an absolutely, irreplaceable, one of a kind, precious gift.
And then, when his sister wakes up, he kicks her with his cowboy boot, makes her cry, and I'm reminded that my sweet and sensitive boy is truly all boy.
I overheard Ella singing a sweet song to God tonight. As I quietly approached her bedside as to not interrupt the sweet lullaby, I heard something like this:
You are real.
You are real.
And you will heal me.
You are big and you are strong.
You made the flowers
and you make me happy.
You are real and I love you.
When I go to heaven
I will be happy to stay with you.
You are my friend
and I love you.
There was such a sweetness in this short moment, that I had to be still and drink it in. I know that God's heart was touched by her worship of Him and my heart overflows because she recognizes His goodness toward her! I pray that she will grow to love him more every day. Ella, you are such a light to me!
We've started a new bedtime routine that relies heavily on Daddy since I will be having a newborn in the coming months and won't be able to do as much for the kids before bed. The new routine involves cuddling up in our big bed while Daddy reads a story from the kids' big picture bible and then tucking the kids in for the night. This morning, Simon asked me "Want me readju Bye-boo (Bible), Mamma?" I, of course, agreed and we snuggled up in the bed. He opens the Bible, licks his finger to turn the page and reads, "Dod (God.)" Licks finger, turns page and reads, "More Dod." I giggle and he asks, "Funnnny boy, Mamma?" Licks finger, turns page, "More Dod."
Yup. That's the jist of it. I think he's got a pretty good grasp on the Bible's premise!
In addition, his prayers at dinnertime sound very much the same. He INSISTS on being the one to pray every night and his prayers go like this: "Dod? Jesus? Friends. Ella. Simon. Mom. Dad. Amen."
In further (less holy) news, Simon loves to crack us up with his perfectly timed eye-crossing.
Ella woke up pretty sick this morning...high fever, cough, stomach ache, headache...the whole shebang. I brought her into our bed to cuddle and take her temperature and as I stroked her hair, she croaked, "Mom, if you want to get me some flowers or something to make me feel better, that would be good." I said ok and exchanged a smile with her daddy. A few minutes later, she reiterated the idea in the same strained voice, "Mom, I NEED flowers to heal me."
Precious daughter.
Ella attended her first official day of jr. kindergarten this week. I was somewhat nervous that she wouldn't love it as much as she anticipated. The day before, we had attended a short orientation to meet the teacher (Mrs. Behan) and the other students, and Ella spent the whole time in observation mode. She was very quiet and reserved and seemed pretty unsure of how to approach the new, unfamiliar faces. Especially the boys.
When I walked her to her class the following day for her first offiicial day in school, she acted very much the same. She moved rather slowly and seemed unsure of what the protocol was. Mrs. Behan was ready for parents to get moving so she could carry on with the normalcy of class (I wasn't the only parent lingering, savoring the moment...I was, however, the only one sporting a camera.) As I eased out of the classroom, Ella caught my eye, smiled brightly and waved. It was her way of letting me know she was going to be ok. So I left.
Simon and I picked her up 2-1/2 hours later and she seemed to have grown up! She was very proud of herself and proceeded to tell me all the little details of the things they did. They learned a nursery rhyme about the woman in the shoe who had so many children....you know the rest....and they sang songs and played music. But she said the boys were getting too loud with the instruments and they had to stop playing. Furthermore, she assured me that she "didn't do anything wrong the whole time!" but rather, listened when the teacher read (even though the boys were talking) and she raised her hand whenever she had a question. So funny. I can see she's the teacher's pet already!
This morning, she asked if she could go to school. I love that school is fun when you're five! Let's hope she finds the wonder in it for the next 13 years!
We might have made a mistake tonight by venturing out to the mall after dinner. It might have just been a tad too late to undertake such a venture, especially to a mall that takes nearly 40 minutes to drive to. But I had a coupon for Children's Place and this particular mall has a Children's Place outlet and we needed some clothes for the kids since they have sprouted considerably since last season. So, we undertook the foolish task despite the late hour and the lack of energy that happens toward the end of the day.
The kids were excited to be out and about...it was a change of pace and they were full, FULL of energy. We split up so that Bryan could take them to the indoor playground while I tackled the shopping. By the time they met me back at the store, Bryan looked pretty worn out. Instead of wearing down, Simon seemed to pick up energy. I noticed this because he was hiding behind the racks of clothes and weaving in and out of displays like a running back. Unfortunately, the check out line was slower than molasses in January so keeping tabs on Simon was incredibly difficult. Bryan finally convinced him to join him to grab a drink from Starbucks, just so we had something else to keep him occupied while the line ceased to move.
Bryan and the kids headed to Starbucks and before he even finished uttering his Frappaccino order, Simon had reached into the cooler, pulled out a chocolate milk, unwrapped the straw and stuck it in the little hole in the box. As Simon began to gulp it down, Bryan told the barista, "I guess we'll take a chocolate milk too."
Poor Dad.
In the last twelve hours, I have heard Ella using the cutest adjectives. The first came after our ride home from our friends' house where she and the other kids watched a movie about Tinkerbell.
Ella: Momma, I love the Tinkerbell movie...it's so....MAGICAL!
The second notable quote was after rest time when she had been dressing up her animals.
Ella: Mom! I have to show you my dolls! I made my kangaroo and bunny so FASHIONABLE!
I am so curious where these little tidbits of learning originate!
Ella has been beyond naps since she was four, but she still has an hour and a half of "rest time" in her room where she plays quietly with toys and books and things while Simon sleeps and I get some quiet time. After rest time is over, Ella is supposed to make sure her room is picked up before we move on to the next thing. Today, it was that time of day and we had moved downstairs to get a snack when I remembered I hadn't checked with her to make sure she'd picked up. So I asked, "Ella, did you straighten up your room after rest time?" to which she replied, "Hmm...Yeah....but I'll go check to make sure." As she ascended the stairs, I heard her say to herself: "I can't remember... Sometimes I have short term memory loss."
Bryan and I have been so encouraged and challenged lately by Ella's amazing faith in God and His goodness, faithfulness, and power. When she has aches or pains, she asks for prayer without reservation or fear that God may not show up to help. In particular, she had a small wart on her temple that she was somewhat embarrassed about and didn't like anyone to see. One night, as I was putting her to bed, she asked if I would pray for her that God would make the wart go away. So I did. We covered it with a band aid and as I tucked her in, she said, "We'll have to check on it in the morning to see if God made it disappear!" Sure enough, the next morning, we removed the band aid, and the darn thing fell right off! She was so thrilled! And I was amazed!
Even when she doesn't receive healing right away, her faith isn't dampened. She has a small cut near the top of her ear that has caused her some pain. I have prayed with her about it a handful of times. One day in particular, she approached me with lip quivering and eyes full of tears because the sore hurt and said, "Mommy, will you pray for me?" I am so proud of her that she doesn't stop believing, even though God didn't take the pain away the first, second or even third time we prayed.
At the dinner table a few nights ago, Ella looked up at me with a huge grin on her face and with a bit of a shy demeanor, and said, "Mommy...I'm a Christian." I was taken aback at first, not expecting her to even know the word so I asked her, "Ella, what does that word mean?" She replied, "It means I love Jesus." And I know she does.
What we find most challenging and inspiring about her faith is how pure it is. It's unhindered by disappointment or questions about whether God really is good. There is no question in her mind that He will take care of things and that He will act out of love toward her. I have found it personally convicting that when Bryan or I will complain of some ailment or weariness, we will search high and low for the ibuprofen or complain to one another, and she will offer to pray for us. We'll both look at each other perplexed, like, "Why didn't we think of that?!" It just proves to me that, even though I believe God to be good, accessible and willing to help, I still look to myself for the answer by default. I am blessed by her every day and love that I can learn so much from her, even as I try to impart as much wisdom as I can to her. It brings to life so many of Jesus' references to little children, how precious they are, how he treasures them and how we are to be more like a child as we relate to our heavenly Father.
Matthew 19:13–14 13Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Some of you faithful readers (whoever you are) may remember my distress in an earlier post about making the right decision for Ella's upcoming start of preschool. Thanks to a friend who happened to read the blog, I was made aware of a lovely preschool less than ten minutes from our house that offers a schedule much more digestible to our current lifestyle. It's called Union Preschool and it has been up and running for nearly 40 years by a Methodist Church of the same name. We took the kids with us on a tour and they both went absolutely nuts with wonder and imagination! Every room was colorful, full of life, and even though it is an older facility, it has a charm and warmth that I haven't seen in other schools we've visited. The tuition is bearable, at least for this year, so we have made the commitment folks! Ella starts school on September 9 and will be going 4 half days a week! Such a load off my mind and a relief to see her so excited about the school! As for next year, we will try again to get her into Kennard for kindergarten.
Ella is due to begin preschool in a few short weeks. As I posted earlier in the year, the school we were hoping for requires a lottery because the demand is high and the slots are few. She didn't get picked in the lottery for that school, so we ended up choosing another public school close by that has a very part time magnet program (1 hour per week). As much as I have felt she will do well in a school setting, I have found myself hesitant about the amount of time for such an early school experience. The school day is long, from 9:10-4:10 which would mean Ella wouldn't arrive home until nearly 4:30. Some questions I've been grappling with are:
1. If this season of my life is centered around staying home to look after my children, would Ella be better served in being home with me while she is still able?
2. Would she grow more intellectually and emotionally being at home with Mommy, brother and a new sibling on the way rather than in a classroom 35+ hours a week that may only be a glorified play group?
3. With Ella being so ready to read, would she be taught at the preschool level, or would she be more likely to begin reading if I began some structured phonics and reading study with her at home?
4. Would it be ultimately better for our family unit if she was a part of the daily routine and adjustment of welcoming a new sibling? (I am confident she will be a huge help in playing with Simon while I am in the midst of newborn care.)
5. Is there any need to rush her off to school or is waiting for kindergarten (after just turning 6) waiting too long and ultimately detrimental to her social development?
As you can see, this is not an easy decision for me and most of all, I want to do what is best for her emotionally, intellectually and socially. I am searching for where the peace of mind lies and am in the midst of prayer about this. It's something I will need to decide on very soon! If you have any wisdom to share, please do! I'm open for insight from other Moms!
Simon has gotten increasingly verbal over the last couple of months and he truly takes us off guard with things he comes up with sometimes, just because it seems like it happened overnight. How I've waited to hear what's going through his mind and now it's all coming so clear. Today in the car I kept hearing him say the same phrase over and over and I wasn't paying much attention until I realized that he was saying "POO-head". I turned around and asked Ella, "What is he saying?" just to confirm my suspicions. (I was sincerely giving him the benefit of the doubt since he has a great deal of catching up to do as far as talking is concerned and I was reluctant to believe that "poo-head" would be one of the newest words in his blossoming vocabulary.) Unfortunately, Ella confirmed that I was hearing correctly. I sternly corrected Simon, trying very hard to be intimidating rather than burst out laughing. I told him that "poo-head" is not a nice name to call someone and we don't use that word and that if he continued to use the word, he would need to be punished. Not a moment later, Ella tattles that he has said the word again. I again correct him and give him a tap on the leg just to let him know he is on his way to punishment. (Driving in the car is not the ideal place to inflict punishment, however.) After I turned back around, I hear Ella whispering to him and realize that she is provoking him to say the word again so that he will get in trouble! I turn around to face the backseat once again and say in my intimidating, "Mom-is-about-to-throw-down" voice, "Ella, are you trying to get him in trouble??!" To which Simon extends his pointed finger in his sister's direction and says loudly, "ELLA DID IT!" And then we all melted in laughter. And so the sibling rivalry begins!
Just wanting to make note that Simon is a gentleman. We've not gone out of our way to teach him this, it just seems to come naturally to him. In the wintertime, he insists on helping Ella get out of her coat, which she is usually reluctant to comply (feminist?). As I fumble for keys to lock the door behind us when we leave the house, he makes sure to hold the door wide for me and whenever a guest leaves our house, he always beats them to the door in order to open it for them and give a proper goodbye. Tonight, our friend Amie came for dinner, and, right on time, he headed to the door and opened it wide for her. Once she was out the door, he waited and watched through the storm door as she got into her car and then as she drove away, he waved and then closed the large door. Then he locked the deadbolt and came bouncing back into the kitchen.
What did we do to deserve this guy?? He amazes me with his goodness!
A fond memory of my own childhood is catching fireflies (or lightening bugs, whichever suits your fancy). I've loved introducing this magical wonder to our kids and we've had fun pretending to be kids again ourselves jumping around in the grass trying to catch the bugs in the dwindling sunlight. Ella has kept them in her room in a jar (the first firefly we caught early in the week passed away several days ago and his carcass still sits motionless in the jar.) Last night at the kid's grandparents' place, we caught quite a load and put them all in a sippy cup which sits next to Ella's bed with the other dead one to remind them of what's to come. Tonight as we put the kids to bed, I heard Bryan say, "Poor bugs." to which I had to chuckle, knowing that he must have inflicted much worse torture on various creatures over the course of his childhood.
Later, after books were read and I spent some time quietly chatting to Ella in her bed, she posed the question, "what if I were to drink down all those lightening bugs and then they were all in my belly?" She giggled to herself, knowing it was a silly question, but we had quite a time coming up with all the possible outcomes to this scenario like:
1. Her eyes would glow so that she could never fall asleep because it was too bright.
2. Her belly button would blink like a stoplight.
3. Her teeth would glow in the dark.
4. Strands of light would shoot out of the tips of her hair.
5. (Ella's favorite) If she tooted, light would shine out of her butt!
We had quite a laugh tonight.
I found a basement sale online this past week and was giddy at all the amazing vintage treasures. I bought this little beauty for Simon's room. It's an old piece of painted glass from a pinball machine, circa 1950(ish). So excited to hang this in his room!
Ella Dear,
There is a thunderstorm tonight. As I sat on the couch in the dim light with your daddy after you had already been tucked in your bed, I watched the flashes of light outside the window and wondered which rumble might wake you up. You are a heavy sleeper, but when there is a thunderstorm, it is sure to wake you. The thunder startles you when you are alone and you need a little snuggle and the comfort of your daddy or me to let you know you are safe. Once you finally awoke tonight as the storm moved in closer, I charged up the stairs at the sound of your whimper, and I must admit, I was happy you finally woke up because it gave me a chance to hold you close while you were sleepy and scratch your back which you are always willing to lie still for. You are my sweet girl and I love you. One day, you won't be afraid of thunderstorms anymore...you might even get a little excited at the sound of one just like your mommy! But until then, I don't mind you waking up in the night for a little bit of snuggling. I don't mind one bit.
All my love,
Mommy
I've been getting all kinds of creative urges and ideas over the last couple of months and have just felt all out inspired lately! I find myself noticing beauty in all kinds of objects and places and feeling a real urge to DO something. Life is crazy busy right now and I've got lots of design work going on, but I just had to do something with this creative compulsion! So I found these frames on clearance at tj maxx and liked the shape and detail...I've been wanting to do some silhouettes of the kids so here's what I came up with.
Nothing beats the sweet profile of little kids noses and lips! Now, if I just had a decent color of paint on the wall to do these little red beauties justice!
Ella loves telling knock knock jokes. I don't quite know where she picked it up from, but for her, the ultimate fun is telling a good knock knock joke. And now that Simon is really speaking more clearly, he has now started telling jokes too. Today's lunchtime was a solid fifteen minutes of knock knock joking.
Ella's jokes sound like this:
E: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
E: Refrigerator.
Me: Refrigerator who?
E: Cup. Cup.Cup.
Simon's are the same every time:
S: Not not.
Me: Who's there?
S: Boo.
Me: Boo who?
S: sshwhwshshsww whwhshshs..... (with a big grin and a giggle.)
In further news, we were playing in the back yard after dinner and Simon and Ella were happily digging in the sandbox together. It was a serene moment where they were engaged in a game together without fighting and I was contemplating the value of that sandbox and it's simple entertainment. All of a sudden I hear Ella say, "What the HECK??!" She sniffs her hands. "This sand smells like POOP!!"
I ran over to inspect the conditions, and, yes it's true, some foul animal has been using our sandbox as a litter box. And the worst thing about it is, I'll bet it's a possum. Ughhhhhh....Our serene moment came to a screeching halt and we all sanitized ourselves in the kitchen sink and promptly headed for a bath. A very gross way to end the evening.
Some of the kids favorite things right now:
~ being chased around the house
~ pretending to do kung fu
~ tomato soup in a coffee mug with grilled cheese
~ visiting the three outside cats down the street (who are almost always sleeping and won't let us pet them)
~ pretending to BE kitty cats (lots of meowing and crawling around)
~ band aids (even if there is no blood present)
~ baths (Simon calls it "bots" and basically asks for one every time he poops...think it's time to potty train?)
~ watering anything outdoors, even if it's dead
~ rain boots
Just a handful of fun tidbits that make the days interesting.
Addendum:
How could I have possibly forgotten the most recurring favorite??
~ Gum. Gum. And more gum. Or as Simon requests all day long: "Mo num pees" (More gum, please)
Well, we can say we've done it. We've loaded our kids up in a van and driven all the way to Florida! It was my dad's birthday celebration (his 60th) and the whole family traveled down to St. George Island, Florida for a week together in a beautiful, three story, beach front home with a private pool and a deck on every level! (Sounds pretty snazzy, right?! Thanks to my step mamma who did most the work to make it happen!)
After our last trip down south, I told Bryan I didn't think I'd be able to make a drive like that until Simon was at least five. Ha. That was only a year ago! Our children AMAZED and DAZZLED us with their patience and understanding of what we were out to accomplish, and with a few special snacks, some new movies and comfy pillows, they made the trip without a hitch. (We did have a goody bag full of wrapped gifts to break up the monotony if a meltdown loomed. I highly recommend this tactic. It's amazing how intriguing a one dollar coloring book can be when its hidden under wrapping paper!)
Here is a pic of Simon and Ella breaking the law by resting, er, watching Kung Fu Panda, outside their cars seats (hey, we all survived road trips this way, right?)
We had such a great time with the family and made memories that will last us forever.
I've been searching for the perfect trike for Simon on craigslist, and, lo and behold, I finally found it! It's a rockin' retro style schwinn trike, cherry red with real wood and leather details! And it even has a working bell on the handle bars! He's pretty proud of the thing and whenever sis tries to ride it, or even perch on the back, he protests. We took it out for a ride today on our front sidewalk. He was into it as long as I pushed him along. He's not so cool with peddling himself. But knowing him, he'll get the hang of it and be off in no time!
In related news, we took Ella out on her bike today for the first time this season. She received a new bike for her birthday last August (she complained that it was pink and not red...but that's a whole different story). She's always been excited about the bike, in theory, (I think it's because of the accessories...knee and elbow pads and a matching Barbie helmet) but after a couple of minutes of trying to ride, she wants to quit. She's not been able to figure out how to slow the bike down or make it stop and that has really intimidated her. Well folks, today was the day for breakthrough!! All of a sudden, she just caught on! And the fear is gone. She was up and down the sidewalk like a pro. Yipee for her!
I am late in posting, but wanted to make note that Simon has had his first official haircut! We were loving his sweet blond locks and didn't mind them growing a bit long. In fact, I was hesitant to cut it because it seemed like he didn't have a whole lot to spare. It was getting to the point, though, that the locks that laid in soft, sweet curls at the nape of his neck straight after a bath were turning into a stringy long mullet that didn't do his good looks justice! So, we opted for the haircut. Movie in the dvd player, perched on a high stool, he was fantastic at sitting through the haircutting process! And now he looks so grown up! Here is a before and after for you:
One of the intriguing things with Simon right now is, at the age of 2 years, 3 months, he still has just few words that we actually understand though he talks all the time! But he knows almost the whole alphabet and visually identifies them as well as naming nearly all of them accurately. Ella likes to help him with his letters and I find this so wonderful! Here is a sweet video of her helping him with letter names this morning as she read out letters in of one of my books.
As we were getting coats and shoes on today to go out and tour a couple of schools, I was coaxing Simon to sit still on the step. He was being sweet as can be and I said, "I love you Simon!" Ella was busy getting her own coat on when she chimed in:
Ella: You don't just love Simon, Mommy! You love yourself and you love me and you love Daddy!
Me: Who else do I love, Ella? Can you think of anyone else?
Ella: Hmmm...who else?
Me: Well, I love Mimi [my mom] and I love Jesus.
Ella: OH! I love Jesus toooo! He is our very best God. I don't want any other one EVER!
I don't either. Let's not forget it!
Oh, where to begin? Today was Day 1 of Bryan's 8-day trip to the UK. These trips are ones that I tend to manage well by staying busy with friends or projects around the house, taking it day by day without counting down the days lest the time pass too slowly. But saying goodbye to my husband today was the saddest it's ever been before. And I've been one breath away from a teary breakdown all day. It probably has something to do with the way the evening panned out, and thus begins the blog entry for today.
A couple of days ago, Simon woke up with a seal-like, barking cough. Nothing nagging or persistent, just a bark here and there and I thought, "Oh great. Another one of his croupy spells might develop out of this seemingly harmless cough." Seems that whenever Simon gets a cold of any kind, it develops into a horrible chest congestion immediately and I spend a couple of restless nights with the baby monitor turned up too high or rousing myself from bed to jack up the hot water in the shower, creating a sauna for his poor little lungs to gain relief. Most often, I use the steamy shower trick or brisk outdoor air exposure at 2 a.m. or whatever gets us through. And then he's better in a couple of days and is no worse for the wear. But today struck me a little different. We went for a short walk to get out into the mild weather and hadn't gone far when I noticed Simon's breathing was extremely loud and labored. He was definitely wheezing like an asthmatic. But he never seemed uncomfortable or upset and he didn't want me to carry him. We stopped by a friends house and had a little rest and I thought his breathing would calm down if we stopped moving for a while. But it didn't seem to change much and I finally called our doctor.
Calling the doctor is annoying to me because it usually ends up being a case where the think they need to see him and then they offer to prescribe an antibiotic or whatever, but it's almost always just a virus that needs to run it's course. So I don't know exactly what I was looking for when I called at 3:30 in the afternoon. When the nurse heard the sound of my son barking from across the room, she said she wanted me to bring him in. Knowing I couldn't make it out to that part of town before closing time in the middle of traffic, I made an appointment for the next morning but she advised me that if he got any worse throughout the night, I should take him to the ER! Wanting to avoid that option at any cost, (a trip to the ER costs us $200!!) I decided to take him into the clinic at Walgreens. They listened to his lungs and said that he was too congested for them to treat so they sent us down to the closest urgent care clinic. Simon saw the doc there and was diagnosed some antibiotics for bronchitis and a steroid for inflammation in his lungs. The doc also suggested that the reccurence of this "croup" could be caused by an environmental factor in our home like mold or furnace filters not being regularly changed. (As a side note, the very thought of this possibility sent every OCD tendency in me ablaze and had me talking myself down from the ledge...but enough about me.)
Of course, the trauma didn't end there as we still had to make a trip to ANOTHER Walgreens to pick up the prescriptions that the doctor said he faxed over ahead of us which, not surprisingly, they had no record of and didn't even have Simon in their computer. So, we burned another half hour while they filled the scripts and then headed back to the store to buy a warm mist humidifier and such. By the time we got home, it was bedtime...all my plans to have a fun, relaxed evening with my kids, watching a movie and eating popcorn happily together were awash in medical, viral, stressful drama. After a hot shower sauna in our bathroom, the kids are all tucked cozily in their beds, sleeping soundly and I can't help but ask God, "Why does all this happen the moment my husband boards a plane flying across an ocean? What is it I need to learn here?" Well, my first answer is a pragmatic one...there is indeed mold growing in a dark corner of our basement. And I did learn how to change the filter in our furnace. The more spiritual answer, I'm sure, will come at a later date when I'm not so easily moved to a crying jag.
BUT...the real reason I meant to enter this post is to brag on my son. The whole time, from the Walgreens walk in clinic to the Urgent Care, to the drive thru dinner to the multiple stops at Walgreens, to the shower sauna...he was a perfect gem. He seemed thrilled to be on his own. It was time spent, just the two of us...I don't know if that has EVER happened before. He seemed so grown up and proud of himself. He followed every direction the doctor or nurse gave and seemed eager to please. And everyone was charmed by his sweet nature. This kid has stolen my heart. One thing I have taken away from this day is that my boy deserves some time just for him, so that he can shine. And shine he does.
There have been several sweet moments with Ella lately so I'll recall a few to the best of my ability.
A few days ago, the kids and I spent some time gazing out the picture window in our front room. Just outside the window is a small tree and we watched the birds land in the limbs and fly to and fro. Some of the birds were walking in the street. Ella said, "Oh Mommy! Those birds are looking for something to eat and they can't find anything!" She was so worried about them going hungry! That gave me an idea for a craft so a few days later, we made pine cone bird feeders and hung them in the front tree. So far, there haven't been any birds visiting again, but I think they're trying to keep warm somewhere.
Our pine cone bird feeders
Ella by our bird tree
This morning at breakfast, Elijah came downstairs and was having a bowl of cereal. We were asking him questions about how he's been since he's been so busy lately we've not seen much of him. I asked him a few things like if he thought he might like a bookshelf in his room. Not to be left out, Ella chimed in: "Did you sleep ok last night Elijah?" We all cracked up at her sweet politeness and genuine care for him, after which she buried her little head in her hands in embarrassment. Sweet thing.
Ella very often asks questions with spiritual significance these days. A week or so ago, she and her daddy had this conversation:
Ella: "Dad, does Jesus rip people open?"
Dad: "WHAT?! No! Of course not! Why?"
Ella: "Then how does he live inside?"
Sometimes I just wish I could bottle this stuff up as the memories fade and time marches on. My love just grows and grows but I'm sometimes hit by the sobering thought of being entrusted with such precious gifts. God help me to treat these children with gentleness and care!
UPDATE: We spotted some birds nibbling on our pine cone bird feeders this morning! Unfortunately, later on in the afternoon, we noticed a rather greedy squirrel devouring what was left of them. I believe he had carried off three out of the five and the last two, he was gorging himself pretty effectively upon. Ella suggested we go outside and punch him in the face, but I talked her out of it.
Simon loves raisons and always has. I have not been giving him raisons much lately because it really affects his digestive system (if you get my drift) and the last time I gave him raisons for a snack, I discovered he had shoved one straight up his nose!! Because I was in the middle of preparing dinner, I never would have figured this out because I wasn't paying close enough attention to where his food was actually ending up. Plus, Ella never, ever did such things (welcome to the wild world of raising boys...a whole new game!!) The only reason I put two and two together is because his eyes were watering profusely and he kept shoving his finger way up his left nostril coupled with sneezing fits and uncomfortable whining. It didn't take long for me to get him to blow the offending raison out into a tissue because it was truly bothering him and he was motivated to get rid of the tiny invader. Well, that was several weeks ago and I had completely forgotten about the incident when I gave him raisons for a snack again while I made dinner last night. A few moments later, I heard sneezing coming from the living room and the whole scene came flooding back to my mind. I immediately dropped what I was doing and found Simon on the couch with his finger up his nose. However, I was unsure if there was another raison up there or if he was just making himself sneeze because he didn't seem to be nearly as bothered and uncomfortable as the first time around. As the evening wore on, I noticed he was still poking his finger way up his nostril but I still couldn't find a raison or convince him to blow his nose. It was a real mystery...until this morning. I descended the stairs and noticed a tiny marroon object on the carpet. It was a saturated, plump little raison that looked as though it had spent the night in my son's nose. And so, the adventure continues...
It is now January and we've had to begin thinking of schooling options for Ella coming up in the fall. Living in the city, it's quite a predicament for most given that the public schools are atrocious and private schools are a major financial commitment. The saving grace for the public schools is the magnet programs that have an academic focus or gifted curriculum. There is a school called Kennard Classical Jr. Academy [www.kennardcja.org] just a mile from us that is the most highly praised magnet in the city and has fantastic test scores. The only trouble is, there is only one pre-k class at Kennard with 20 slots and the amount of applicants is crazy. Plus, the testing just to get into the drawing for these 20 slots is intense. I have always felt that Ella was bright but when I found out that she would have to test into the top 95th percentile just to make it into the drawing, I was slightly intimidated. Her testing was a couple of weeks ago and we went into it with very little information on what it involved. I had no idea that it would be two hours alone with a tester and that we would not be allowed in the room! It was very strange to hand her over to someone like that without any time to warm up or get the low down on what was about to take place! But Ella was such a tropper! She was relaxed and comfortable with this woman and simply waved goodbye to us and commenced in playing "games" with the lady. An hour and a half later, they emerged for a short break and Ella walked by us gleefully holding the woman's hand. She had a wonderful time having one on one time with an adult playing all these smarty games without a little brother to interrupt! After finishing the testing, we were so amazed to discover she tested in the 96th percentile and had an IQ of 126. Wow. I was so proud of my girl! So as it stands, she will be entered into the lottery and we will find out in a few weeks if her name is drawn. Whether she makes it or not, I feel confident that God knows the best place for her and that she will do well because she loves to learn! I feel God has blessed the whole process as I missed the original deadline to enter her application in November and was told she would go on a waiting list. But somehow, that was bypassed and they tested her anyway. I can only believe that that was God's hand at work and that He is in control of this situation. I am excited to see what the end result will be!
Simon turned three last Wednesday and we celebrated that morning with waffles and birthday candles. Bryan had to be away from home overnight that night so we planned his birthday party for the following Saturday. I'm 32 weeks pregnant now and promised myself I wouldn't go overboard with the planning of his party and would try to keep it small. But the night before, I stayed up till midnight hanging the Kung Fu Panda themed decor and straightening the house. When I finally hobbled to bed, I couldn't quiet my mind thinking of all the things I wanted to do to make the party special the following morning. I couldn't wait to hear his reaction when he walked in the kitchen and saw all the streamers and balloons but he beat me to it when morning arrived. I heard him downstairs begin to say hello to his daddy when he discovered the festive decor hung just for him. It went something like this, "Morning Da–ooooooo! Boootiful!" He was so pleased which made it all worthwhile for me.
(Simon's favorites: tomato soup and grilled cheese + veggies with ranch dip) and topped it all off with homemade chocolate cupcakes with chocolate cream cheese frosting and rocky road ice cream. We opened gifts and took lots of pictures. Simon got a really cool game from Elliott, a lego firetruck set from Grandma and Papa, and we got him a really cool remote controlled car with big rubber wheels that flips over when it runs into the wall.
