ella on marriage

I'm not sure if it's from over-exposure to Disney films, fairy tale stories, or what, but Ella has had an awareness of marriage for quite a while now. When she was just over three years old, she was in our bedroom looking at the flowers on the table by our bed. Her daddy was resting on the bed with her when she asked if the flowers came from my wedding. This sparked a conversation about marriage with her father.

Dad: Ella, do you know who Mommy's husband is?
Ella: No.
Dad: I'm your mommy's husband, Ella.
Ella thinks about this for a moment, and then as her thoughts shift, her face falls and her lip begins to quiver.
Ella: Daddy? Who is MY husband?
Dad: Ella, you are too little to have a husband. You're only three years old!
Ella: But what is his name? How will I know who he is?
Dad: When you are old enough, Daddy will tell you. (quite a funny notion...)
Ella: Well, when I meet my husband I will bring him to this house and he'll say 'hi!'
Dad: He'd better say more than that!

Shortly after this conversation, Ella decided that she was going to marry her daddy. This is a very sweet idea that makes Daddy feel very loved so we never tried to explain to her that that really wouldn't work out too well. Other people have tried to correct her on this notion asking things like, "If you marry your Daddy, who will be your mommy's husband?" She doesn't really have an answer to this question.

From that notion of marriage, she moved on to say that when she grew up she'd marry Simon and they would have their own house. I know later, this statement will give her the willies, but it's just so sweet to me to think that her understanding of being married is being with the men you love most in your life. To her, that's her Daddy and brother. I'm so happy that's the case for her.

This last week, her marital plans shifted. We have a young man living with us for nine months while he does an internship (called the Frontier Year Team) at our church. He's a great guy by the name of Elijah and he is so sweet with the kids. He's like an honorary older brother to them. The other day, we were playing music and the kids were dancing and Elijah was twirling Ella around. She loves this sort of thing and it really made an impression on her. That night as I was chatting with her after lights were out, she told me of her new wedding plans:

Ella: Mommy, when I get big, I want to marry Elijah.
Me: Don't you think he might be a little too old for you Ella? Wouldn't you like to marry someone more your own age?
Ella: Hmmmm....I have a good idea. How about when I get big, I'll marry Elliott!
Me: Well, he'll have to ask you first Ella. The boy asks the girl. Girls don't ask boys to get married.
Ella: (thinking) I have a good idea....When I get big, I'll say, 'I'll marry you Elliott.'

I don't think she quite got the concept of being asked...only that she wanted to make sure he knew she'd be willing. Funny girl. I think we might have to put away our princess movies for a while till this fascination dies down a bit...Girls will be girls I suppose. No use fighting it!