In the post before, I mentioned how Bryan had been on a trip to Brighton. When he travels, I do what I can to enjoy myself and do things I wouldn't normally do when he's home (like eat popcorn and apples for dinner and watch
Gone with the Wind after the kids are in bed). But in a general sense, the time he's away is really challenging. In the last few weeks, I've noticed the kids behavior has been "off". It just seems like we've struggled with things that aren't normally difficult. For Simon, there's been more whining, more fit throwing, and other strange things that aren't normal for him, like biting his sister on the cheek! For Ella, it's been more attitude trouble. She's been pushing the boundaries and doing things she knows aren't allowed. She's been pouting when she doesn't get something she wants right when she asks for it. There has been badgering where I'll tell her "no" and she'll make the same request five minutes later. It has been rather exhausting around here and I have felt really ill equipped on a new level. Several nights, I've laid in bed thinking and praying about how to connect with the kids (mainly Ella) and how to guide them without barking at them or crushing their spirits. I've beat myself up about the moments that I've failed and been reactionary or frustrated and wasted the day being stressed out. I lament at my lack of wisdom in guiding them sometimes.
This week, Bryan is home and it really has helped, if even to give me a few minutes to breathe and get refreshed to approach my kids with a smile. It's brought back the balance around here and it's helped to talk some of this stuff out with him and readjust our philosophy on a few things in order to help the kids through this bump in the road.
Today, Ella made me a card and it was so timely and kind, it was just what I needed to receive from her. I actually had to compose myself to keep from crying it was so darned sweet.
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| to Mom | *love* ellA |
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| to MOM I LOVe You to MUCH MOM We HAVe SO MUCH FUN AND I LOVE YOu JUSt HOW YOu ARe |
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Sometimes being a Mom is so humbling. It's a good thing.
2 comments:
I have had numerous conversations with moms who had to go it alone for a couple of weeks this summer. We ALL agreed that our kids really test boundaries when they know Dad is away and Mom is the only line of defense they have to cross. When I told Steve this he said the kids do it to him when I'm away, too. I guess you're never too young to understand "divide and conquer." Makes us so grateful we don't have to parent alone full-time. Glad you all made it through in one piece!
Yeah, I know! So glad I don't have to go it alone. The sad thing is that the kids could never really verbalize that this happens when Daddy is away. Ella kept saying things like, "What is WRONG with me today?!" I know she didn't want to misbehave.She's such an awesome kid. Thank God for new mercy every day.
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